It's ALL good baby bay-bay!

“Reflection must be reserved for solitary hours; whenever she was alone, she gave way to it as the greatest relief; and not a day went by without a solitary walk, in which she might indulge in all the delight of unpleasant recollections."
―Jane Austen

I only seem to “drop by” when I have these- what you call- “ah-ha” moments, but I guess that’s my cue to write it out. I’m honestly not sure where I’m going with this and I only submit rough drafts so bare with me.

It’s the first weekend of spring!! Can I just say…? IM IN LOVE! The warm weather, the sunshine, girl just can’t get enough. So needless to say, I’ve been enjoying outside- walking, climbing, laying…sunshine, you can have me any way! There is just something though about being in it alone, which I have had quite some time doing just that. It gets my wheels spinning, think tank on overdrive. (I’m talking about the good kind though). Reflecting back at my last post (September… WOW) my thinking wasn’t so “good.” TMI or whatever… but girls- we go through this window of time…each month…and we are a little sensitive… mmk? EVERY SINGLE THING is heightened. Well you know, it’s real and I don’t even try to make sense of it myself.

~ Long side note: Reverting to my very first post, you know of my eating disorder and tremendous weight loss. This is personal, but I’m literally beyond all that- I can spat to you almost anything about my life without blinking twice, because I DON’T FIND REASONS TO HIDE MYSELF ANYMORE and ESPEICALLY when I can bring God glory. There’s no shame in my perfectly human problems.

When women have too little or even excess body fat, they tend to lose their menstrual cycle. I lost mine for some time and eventually lost faith in that I would never be able to “do the one thing a woman is suppose to be able to do.” It took a major toll on me considering I had developed a healthy weight and still wasn’t fully healthy -in my eyes- because lack thereof. The only thing I could do was give it to God. I did however, give in… saw a GYN (I honestly despise any doctor’s office, so that was BIG) but I went and was confirmed the answer that I already knew (me so smart, LOL)... I was amenorrhea- mostly likely due to being really active, but he didn’t seem to find it detrimental so I guess I found peace in that…? Pressing forward, I just knew with time God was going to heal me, trusting Him in whatever His plan would be for me, I could rest assured knowing He had (HAS) by back always ;) Yours too! So with great news, I’m recovered from that and literally, unlike most of you women who despise the time, I find it to be a happy and wonderful time! I throw myself a party and remember how amazing God is!~

So, with that said, the biggest thing you can do… listen up… (gals and it may even help you guys too, actually yes! It will help you realize Mother Nature is at fault and that your girl/sister/mother/friend isn’t a total insane madwoman after all! LOL)…but the first step is to recognize. That’s with any problem, right!? Well when I realize my thinking is just completely sour and my attitude is piss-poor, I have to recognize it so that I can control it and revert to something more positive. So easy to say, yet so hard to do sometimes because emotions are real! I understand; I get it. However, reacting instead of responding, only leads to trouble for you and others around you.

So what am I getting at?

1. I have no earthly idea.

2. Okay, that’s a joke.

3. But in all seriousness- I’m a fixer…as most girls are, we like to be peacemakers. Problems solved and done, no more worries. Well life deals us things, for the greater good. It’s about taking it and handling it in such a manner that shapes us. When I know my thoughts are falling into that negative category I sit and pull out my pretty app that lets me know time is here and I’m like okay makes sense for my “get away from my bubble”/”you’re being so mean to me”/”I want all the ice cream, cake, and cereal, and pizza” mood. That’s seriously the funniest thing I’ve ever said...I’m HAlarious…okay, I’m just trying to make light. But yeap, seriously ladies, keep a calendar, mentally if anything! It helps me.

Enough with the “periods” and move on to the exclamations or something! ha. ha. What are you REALLY getting at you strange chick??

I’m filling you in. Updating you. From September to now, I’ve honestly CHANGED… it’s so possible, who would’ve thunk it?? I’ve come to accept things that weren’t meant for me like I had initially assumed they were. I’ve realized being alone doesn’t make you lonely. I’ve realized God is continually putting people in my life to serve as my “Paul” (to help teach me) and others as my “Timothy” (to let God’s love be revealed to them through me – ALL glory to Him!) I’ve found that it’s best to let things be, and not make anything out of something or jump to conclusions. It’s funny that I can get sort of personal on here, yet never initialize a conversation about me or my problems... I have to be asked first- I’ve always been that way, but once you ask, you might not be able to shut me up if I feel that trust connection. I keep to myself and let it stir in my mind. That’s why the introvert finds writing as a means of release. Holla! But friendship... friendship is so important, I’ve learned. God really smiles at it too! And I’ve learned that this time in my life is really rewarding, a time to really seek God more and more, a time to let him work in me, given that singleness can be a blessing, and not some sad status that society wants to label you as.

So all I really want to get at is this… might as well have just skipped to this last bit… just kidding, but honestly- You really can find joy in your weakest “seasons”! Just wanted you to know that, beautiful/handsome! Know where you stand in the Lord’s eyes, and don’t give way to the enemy’s mean ol’ lying trap hole. Be happy even when you feel you can’t… focus on the blessings of life, ‘cause IT’S ALL GOOD BABY-BAY*BAY!!

But this is cool too and a great way to close. Rarely do I ever check my devotional app that I have on my phone because I have a morning devotional in actual book form…you know the manual page turner...but anyways this is what it said:

“True humility and fear of the LORD lead to riches, honor, and long life.” –Proverbs 22:4

[and the little “sermon” to go along with it]: God is a god of prosperity who does bring riches. However, believing in Him, today will not bring $5000 tomorrow. Instead, walking with Him and seeking His ways will change your attitude. You begin to see events that happen to you in a different light. Bad things can be seen as blessings and learning experiences. In effect, you become abundantly prosperous because what you previously saw as trivial, meaningless, or burdensome have now turned to rich experiences. How rich is your life? Has your view of events changed over your walk with the Lord?

-Okay, wow, did you catch that?? God is ever so LOVELY! – Let me just say how confirming this blog post really was! First, I’m sitting here typing this, my phone lights up with the alert for the P.M, devotion. I’m literally wrapping up this post but I decide to open it up and instead read what was for the A.M. devotional! That is what I gave you above ^^ So I didn’t even look at the “appropriate” one (considering the time is not “At Morning”…you know that’s what you make of A.M. too, don’t lie) But it was SO appropriate, because God lead me there instead of the other one! And secondly, the verse was from Proverbs 22--- today is the 22^nd. That’s something I learned from my Mom, (there’s always a Psalm and Proverbs for everyday of the month) so how fitting for the Proverbs for today! Just double the confirmation, y’all!

Happy Spring!! Be the change you wish to see!

With much love, Me.

xoxoxox.