Sisterhood of the Traveling Ring

Hi sweet family!

*There’s a Hope that cries out to the unbeliever. And there’s a Hope that calls out to the dry, “dead” Christian. “Come ALIVE; be re-born!”*

i am pretty stoked to share this “ah-ha” moment i have had with God and i am beyond excited for the revelation to unfold in your lives too! i’ve been a bundle of stir-crazy waiting to explode. Let’s pray, first!

Dear Heavenly Father, there is an unending thank You list running through my heart. Your fullness has been made known to me. ‘Three in One’ is no longer a religious concept that i read and hear about. You have pierced the deepest part of my soul and i have encountered You in a real way. Hallelujah, Jesus! Forgive me for living a controlled life. Thank You for Your mercy! i surrender my whole heart for Your holy love. Yes, Jesus- You have set me free! i lay down my plans, my solutions…my life is Yours. Take it all. Lead the way; i will follow You.

Lord, let Your Holy Spirit fall fresh on us, we need You here now. Thank You for this sweet sister, this sweet brother. Thank You for the opportunity i have been given to share what You have done in me. i pray that You would open the eyes of her heart, his heart to be attune to Your voice and that Your words would  speak to them there and not just in their mind. i pray You would become so real to them, Emmanuel! You died as Savior and as Lord for us here as in heaven. i pray they wouldn’t miss out today like i have for so many years. You are the Greatest Love there is. It’s in the sweet name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

Like many others’ personal encounters with Christ, i first confronted my true self, experienced God’s grace, and now i only want to live my life sharing the Good News with others!

That really was the basis of my testimony. Only now, another big puzzle piece has found its place! “Just when i thought my ‘hallelujah’ was tired, He gave me a new song!”¹

When i first started blogging at the beginning of 2013, i titled it “Radical Self-Love and Positive Affirmations.”

When i found my walk with {the Lord} last year, He encouraged me to change the name to “This Journey with God (Becoming all that i was created to be in Christ).”

Just now, i wanted to reflect back to my very first blog post.

To my amazement, this is what i titled it: “My BIG “Ah-ha” Moment Unraveled (Journey of Overcoming Obstacles and Breaking Through Strongholds)” ** i promise, i referred back to it in the process of writing, and not before i began prefacing this post…i’ll even “Girl Scouts Honor” it.** i may be going out on a limb here, but i think this instance was a small-scale indicator that we should pay attention to the patterns in our lives. They are not happenstance. Isn’t God good! He knows we are creatures of habit, flustered by change; and so, He throws in constant themes, reoccurrences, and patterns to grab our attention. Over and over, time after time does He do this and still we ignore the knocks and call it “happenstance”…”coincidence.”

Needless to say…this journey (once we are on it) leads us from one “ah-ha” moment that spurs us on to the next, and so on and so forth calling us deeper and growing us wiser in the knowledge of Him.

it took the first 10-11 years of my life (don’t know the exact age) for me to say “yes” to God. i confessed “with my mouth” Jesus as my Lord and Savior. i only accepted Him in my heart as Savior. “Yeah, i don’t want to be damned to hell. Please and thank You. Okay, great…now that we got that out of the way…”

But after that moment, it took the next 13-14 years of being pursued for me to say “yes” to Jesus as my Lord. His pursuit never stopped. How relentless! How romantic.

There was no sense of relationship with my Father, God. There was no healing power or deliverance from the weight of my sins. i steered the wheel and sought my own solutions to my problems…and yet, i still carried the burden of shame, guilt, and pain.

i believed in God and believed in the story of Jesus. However, there was a tremendous disconnect due to a lack of relationship...the puzzle piece that had been missing after those years of becoming saved was highly essential to my inner peace. The key piece was the Lordship of Jesus Christ. my Hope. my Blessed Assurance. my Joy. my Bridegroom. my Confidence. my Cornerstone. my EVERYTHING! i was essentially still "living" for myself, instead of dying to self to become ALIVE in Christ.

i had a hard time with saying/hearing the name "Jesus". In worship, when it got to a part where you said His name, i remember feeling so uncomfortable...awkward to the max. In mentioning my faith to others-it was always "God" never "Jesus". (Clear indicator i was lost) ...What {good} was i professing? What set me apart from other religions who also have a god. Jesus is essential in being a CHRISTian. How did i miss that?

i was a bored, dry, dead “Christian” who wondered if there was “something more” pssst….THERE WAS SOMETHING MORE!!!

Jesus was Lord and Savior waiting in a far away place. Because of that deception, i was missing out on the one thing my soul was longing for.

But…as i was giving up control, i told God to bring to surface all that i was saving for Judgment Day. (that may sound weird to say, but it was pretty much what i was doing.) Anyway, through a Bible study, i was heavily encouraged by the Holy Spirit to ask God: “Expose me, Lord!...Bring to light my darkness!”

“Lord” Yes…i called Him “Lord” numerous times before then, too.

“But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord’ and do not do the things which I say?” (Luke 6:45)

*that was a BIG CONVINCTION just this past week…Which is why i now feel the peace to write about this because i was able to fully repent and in return, God gave me the A-OK.

So…moving on…

He was still faithful to my prayer request and answered me the very next day. i know it was Him.

He exposed it gently, but exact.

It was revealing, not rehashing.

Hard and trying…

Convicting, not condemning.

He wanted to resurface the wound. Not to point and laugh. Not to reprimand me. Not to cause me suffering.

Instead, He desired to walk with me through it. He wanted to bring me ultimate inner healing. He wanted to show Himself to me. He would later tell me about all the wooing He had in fact done. Over time, i would realize all the instances in which i “stood Him up” for lesser things. For boys who didn’t care about my heart. For pleasure that couldn’t satisfy me. For a label to make me feel secure and validated and worth it. There’s not a closet big enough that holds all the roses Jesus brought to me. i turned Him away at every knock. i didn’t care about dancing with Him, my boutonnière was for the man that was going to come “sweep me off my feet” and give me the American Dream.

but on this day, i really needed Him. i needed Him to fix this wound…

The news wasn’t good and my world, as i knew it, got flipped upside down... the walls started caving in. The floor opened up underneath me. Every thing that i built my life to stand upon wasn’t sturdy…that much was evident.

“Whoever comes to Me and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently, and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.” (John 6:47-49)

my heart lay shattered, my house, my life in crumbles…all in front of my feet. my shame and guilt had reached an all-time high. What was i to do?

i needed to try something… someone new, obviously… and so, i did what felt right.

The Bible study on the book, “The Mended Heart” encouraged me to pray to God specifically. And so, when He answered me specifically the very next day, i decided to try Who the author, Suzanne Eller, recommended. Through her, God referred me to Jesus.

He was speaking to this broken heart of mine, but i was clouded by my immediate, selfish need to see what Jesus was really after.

When i gave my life to Jesus as Lord, the Holy Spirit came over me, showering me with His presence. It brought me to my knees and then to my face. On a bathroom floor.

…a bathroom floor, y’all.

i was cleaning in bleached up pants and a t-shirt. My hair was in a frizzy bun on the top of my head. i wasn’t wearing make-up.

“Just as you are, come.”

but here’s what you don’t know…

When the song “Healer” by Kari Jobe came on in that moment, i really believed God could miraculously heal, in the physical sense. i believed with my whole heart that He could supernaturally work wonders in my generation and for me. i knew the washing of the Holy Spirit was so strong for a reason. i was surrendering my life, but in that moment, i don’t think i saw what i was really surrendering for.

i wanted Jesus to fix the circumstance.

When what i was believing and hoping for didn’t come, i really could have shaken my fist at God. However, He knew there was more stripping to do for me to understand. Lovingly, He decided to wrap me in His arms at my lowest point. He remained patient. Man, i’ve never seen anyone so patient.

i could have said “how dare you deceive this fragile heart!” i really could have walked away from trying the “Jesus thing,” but something in me gave me an unmovable peace. i believe God brought me to Natalie-my sweet cousin- specifically during this time. She was family i didn't see on a day-to-day basis, but she was close enough for me to trust and she was more mature in her walk with
Christ than i was. She continued to sympathize with my hurt all the while encouraging me in THE truth which tore down all of Satan's lies one by one. Because of her, i have a clear depiction of Jesus. i saw how He would handle the situation. And not, only for my sake, but so that it may someday be portrayed through me for the sake of another sister or brother. Because of her obedience to pray and then discipled me, i was discovering the best intimacy my soul would ever know. i was discovering Jesus, and in turn, He was giving me an in identity in Him. It’s truly the strangest thing. i really don’t think it was in of myself to trust Him even still. It was Christ in me. i believe that whole-heartedly. Chosen.

“just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons [and daughters] by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.” (Eph. 1:4-6)

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“And so ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Ring’???? Tell me. How is that title relevant?”

Okay, have i pre-prefaced, prefaced, and post-prefaced enough?

About a year ago (this was before i gave my life to Christ), i bought a $14.99 (on sale for $7.99) cross ring at Marshal’s. This sounds a bit silly, but i literally wrestled with making the purchase. i’m pretty sure people noticed my coming and going in the jewelry section. i walked back and forth. “This woman is either indecisive, crazy, or OCD.” (“or all the above,” i would’ve unabashedly proclaimed.)

This was the conversation going on in my mind (i literally was oblivious to any Marshal’s employee or fellow shopper because of all this “chatting” going on, anyway...)

Heck yeah, what a deal!

You don’t need anymore jewelry.

But it’s a cross ring!

Once you buy it, you can’t return it…final sale.

…oh whatever! i am getting it! Satan, be gone!!!!

i immediately slipped it on my finger. That is, after leaving the store…i mean, i didn’t shoplift... i swiped my visa, made the ~$70 purchase (we all know there was more items weighing on my dilemma, okay) and left the store (ahem…as an innocent, *loyal* customer), i searched my bags and took out the ring, stripped it from its tag, and placed it on my left middle finger.

Time went on.

June 24^th 2015

The first profound experience when wearing it was in an abandoned Big Lots parking lot. i was on the phone with a friend i had been dodging difficult conversation with because conflict arose. It’s what i knew to do in those circumstances… run and/or sweep things under the rug when the going got tough. But my sister was relentless (in the best way) to save the friendship… she was adamant about working through it together. Even though my attitude was ugly, she continued to strive for reconciliation right then and there! God brought the conflict around full circle and i learned what grace was. Thank you, Brittany. i am eternally grateful for you, sweet sister.

Completely overwhelmed by the outpour of the Holy Spirit, i got off the phone and went into the gym (where i was headed when i got her phone call) and couldn’t even wait a second longer. i wanted to share the Good News of what grace can do! so i posted a picture of my hand bedazzled with the ring that was soon to hold an even bigger significance. (little did i know…)

(at that time, i didn’t care if my words in that caption didn’t make sense…the joy i was feeling was enough for me!)

July 9^th 2015

Grace found me.

…literally two weeks and a day later.

God was using Brittany.

Her yielded heart towards Him allowed her to show me grace…a preface of God’s grace…Jesus.

i’m just going to dance and sing for a second! Hallelujah!! It’s just as awesome today, as it was then.

Time went on.

God was putting a dream inside me to pass the ring along. i was excited to do that but i wasn’t ready to give it up just yet. It became very special to me as it had just developed true meaning…little by little, i was grasping the meaning of the cross, and so i was reluctant to take it off until i fully grasped that (and then some). Thankfully, God wasn’t ready for me too anyway.  =] He was just giving me glimpses of that dream. He had more details to add.

And so, i’ve been carrying it…figuratively “wearing” it… for quite some time after encountering His Grace.

He became real.

and because of that, everything about me was going to change! i was being re-born.

He wanted to give me an identity!

“…with this ring…”

i had watched the movie “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” once before in my life and remembered the concept. A group on long-term friends passing around a pair of pants that magically fit them all. That’s about all i remembered, but it was enough for me to feel like that’s what God wanted to call this idea…His dream that He’s placed inside my heart.

***January 19^nd 2016***

i met the tribe of women God had for me. i asked Him for community and He gave me something beyond my wildest imagination. He ordained a group of women who were all on fire, laid-down lovers of Jesus with similar, yet different stories and put us together.

A week prior, i felt pressed to send a group text to Kimberly and a couple other girls from the first and only bible study i ever attended. i really don’t know what compelled me to do so. i said ”…was wondering if y’all were apart of a small group or were wanting to do a bible study again..i’m really missing that! Please let me know!”

Kim responded in a text saying it was funny because they were just talking about one in particular about doing. (My hopes is that they will soon share their part of the story.)

Kim, then called me since we both happened to be taking a lunch break and we chit-chatted for a bit.

i was already saying “yes.”

i had no idea what was in store.

i showed up at Kim’s that following Tuesday to find two familiar faces and two completely new ones. All so very beautiful, shining with the face of the Lord (Num. 6:25).

We became vulnerable with one another. Transparent with our past and present. It wasn’t easy, but the walls started falling fast. i soon recognized that i was not alone in my struggles. They had been in dark places too. my shoulders sank. Lord, thank You! May this be an unbreakable bond!

Time went on. (not our gatherings together…thought that needed to be made clear)

In my downtime, i was reading Max Lucado’s “A Love Worth Giving” and got to chapter 13 titled: “The Ring of Belief.” Love…believes all things (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

“When you speak truth, you are God’s ambassador. As you steward the money He gives, you are His business manager. When you declare forgiveness, you are His priest. As you stir the healing of the body or the soul, you are His physician. And when you pray, He listens to you as a father listens to his son. You have a voice in the household of God. He has given you His ring.” (Lucado)

Reading that, struck me hard.

Keep talking, Lord!

The whole chapter planted a seed and indicated God was still sewing into that dream He placed in my heart.

Time went on.

January 26^th, 2016 and February 9^th 2016

i got in a wreck that totaled my car. i was on my way to Kim’s, very excited to come together with the ladies in “tribe time.” On my drive over, it was dark, rainy, and trafficky (that’s a word…add it to ya vocab.!) Anyway, i’m fighting my embarrassing confession with light humor…but this IS important and it may very well save your life or someone else’s.

i forgot exactly where Kim lived so i pulled up my Maps while i was driving…something i should have done before leaving the house. In that moment of looking down, i rear-ended the person in front of me. i couldn’t believe this was happening again. This time, the impact was hard enough for my air-bag to deploy. The accident was very surreal. Thank God, we were all okay. **Make your car a no-phone zone, not just “texting prohibited.”** It was now down to 3 girls who could show up to tribe time, so they decided to cancel the bible study for that night. They didn’t feel right moving forward without us all being there. True friendship. i remember Kimmy’s text that night and the comfort i felt reading it. God’s love singles us out and makes us feel special; that’s what i experienced in her concern for me.

Nevermind the burn scars on my forearm from the airbag (they serve as a reminder in more ways than just one.) My poor ring, though…had taken a toll. One of the “diamonds” is missing and it became distorted in such a way that after i took it off, it no longer fit comfortably on my middle finger. i nonchalantly moved it to the next finger over, the one that it fit perfectly…my left ring finger. I didn’t think much about it. That is until two weeks following when i finally met with my girls again.

i was struggling with Jesus being enough. Truly and completely enough for me. i wanted to believe that His grace is sufficient for me (2 Cor. 12:9) with all of my heart, soul, and mind (Matt. 22:37)

Kimberly remembered a tattoo she got of Isaiah 54. At the time, she really didn’t know why she was getting it.

Anyways, the Lord brought it to her mind so she could read scripture over me.

Man, did it come like a wave crashing over me…

“’For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a youthful wife when you were refused,’ says your God. ‘For a mere moment I have forsaken you, but with great mercies I will gather you. With a little wrath I had My face from you for a moment; but with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,” says the Lord, your Redeemer.’” (v.5-8)

i am so blessed by her faithfulness to our God and her obedience to His Holy Spirit.

February 11^th 2016

God was patiently waiting for the two and two to come together. He was working with me...bringing the revelation to my heart, making the “ah-ha” moment clear as day. i sat that morning in my quiet time, looked at the ring on my left hand, the finger in which it was placed and then opened my Bible to Isaiah 54 and cried out to the Lord.

Through tears, i shouted, “i am Your bride, Jesus!”

“i’m sorry i have made you last, when You’re the epitome of perfect relationship. i was made for relationship but never have i understood why. Thank you for being enough, King Jesus. You will always be enough!”

                                                 

i now understand why God created marriage.

to display Jesus’ coming to save the church…His bride.

Jesus is THE Bridegroom!

My parent’s divorce taught me differently.

Promiscuity taught me to sell my body for attention and to gain worth.

i even thought the “American Dream” was a good concept… but it wasn’t Biblical.

By His grace alone, i now grasp the beauty of covenant relationship and His desire in creating marriage. i’ve discovered Jesus as the lover of my soul and His knocking will forever be The Ultimate Wooing i’ll ever encounter. And so, i won’t settle for anything less than His best for me. A man who has also made Jesus enough in his heart and is just as much on fire for Him as i am, if not more… so completely wild at heart.

you ladies will know by the way of his pursuit and you’ll know because he knows that the only way to point you is to Jesus. Helping you to keep your eyes fixed on your real Home. Helping you stay in love with your Maker.

**But first, we must experience the biggest intimacy we will ever know. we must find our identity {in Christ}. So many of us make the mistake of jumping into relationship to find our identity there…in a label.

strip off the tags and get back to the basics. you are loved. you are forgiven. Remember Who’s you are.

Believe me, this is a total 360 degree work in me and i love it! Thank You, Lord!
i was also very thankful to receive this truth in my heart right before Valentines Day. Just in the nick of time! He was making me stronger!

March 13^th 2016

Pastor Randy came to preach this Sunday morning on Luke 15:11-32 (The Parable of the Prodigal Son).

i was familiar with the story, because it was me, only i was the prodigal daughter. However, this time, something else popped out at me. In verses 22-24 we see the father bring out the very best gifts for his son who has returned home.

The signet ring stood out amongst the robe, shoes and calf. (obvi.)

It gave the prodigal an identity. The father’s love for his son who has returned home remained constant and faithful. The heart of this parable was to showcase God’s unconditional love and the restoration of relationship with Him…our Heavenly Father.

God doesn’t scold us when we want to turn back to Him. Instead, He and all of Heaven rejoice!!!

Into open arms we go.

Good Friday 2016

In John 4, we read about a Samaritan woman. i can relate completely to her… maybe you too? Did you know that the Samaritan woman’s conversation with the Lord is Jesus’ longest one-on-one chat recorded in scripture!?

Yeap; and so, i’m intrigued.

Kim sent me a YouTube video of a Steven Furtick sermon preached Easter 2014. “The Hope of Glory.”² God directed him to take a nontraditional stance on the message of Easter and it spoke straight into my testimony.

“Jesus will always move away from religious drama and towards the needs of people who are hurting. Jesus will always go out of His way to find and minister to people who others would go out of their way to avoid.” (Furtick)

Jesus broke all social and religious norms by speaking to a woman, who was of a different ethnic and religious background. He was interacting with someone who had indulged in immoral behavior. And He wanted to chat with her, no matter what others thought.

This woman had decided to go to the well at a time of day when no one else would be around. She wanted to be alone, not bothered by anyone. (little did she know…)

Like her, i was hiding.

i was hiding who i really was behind a persona of perfection.

Jesus shows up asking her for a drink…”What do want with me? You are a Jew and me a Samaritan woman?”

He is revealing His identity to her and she doesn’t even realize it. But man, He is so patient. He doesn’t give up on her. What she needed was living water, not water to fill her bucket that day. What she needed was fulfillment that satisfied her soul and the very presence of Joy was standing right in front of her, speaking the same truth in different ways for it to finally “click!”

When Jesus came to me that day on the bathroom floor, i was hoping for something different.

“Sometimes God will bypass what you hope for to give you what you really need.” (Furtick)

i needed true Hope Himself! The hope of Jesus Christ!

and so, Love came down and flooded me. i was washed by Living Water.

Like the Samaritan woman, it has taken time for this to all make sense. Revelation by revelation, i grasp Who He is, what He has done, and who i am {in Him}.

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Back at the end of January, another huge revelation was being planted when my sweet sister, Megan Haynes, gave us all a “Giving Key” necklace each with different words carved into them. i have already joked with her and the others about how i was honestly bewildered when i saw the word “Hope” on the one i received. “M.H., don’t you know God made ‘courage” my word for this year?” (little did i know…)

Along with receiving Megan’s gift, (which i would later find to be impactful) we had started a new series at Grace on spiritual gifting called “i found my place in grace.” This was obviously very exciting for me. After saying “yes” to Jesus last year and having the realization of Who He is be made known to me personally, i then wanted to understand who i was as His follower. i wanted to know what God designed me to do. (Every day on this journey we discover what He designed us to do because every morning we wake up to something new. On the path we may find someone else who is hungry and in need. A different friend calls us for our help. A saddened sister/brother needs a hug. Will we go where He calls? Will we act on what He nudges us to do?)

Yes, i understand that to be the bigger picture. That’s our sense of purpose.

But you have to understand, i was needing direction in my life. i had completed two years of college with no degree and decided to work full time for my mother’s business, cleaning houses. i truly enjoy it.

It’s humbling.

It’s freeing.

i can worship out loud 95.7% of the time.

i can drop to my knees on a bathroom floor.

There’s a lot of joy to be found in what i do.

On the realistic side of it all, i choose to work as an employee with an hourly pay and a set schedule (for the most part). i felt a call for transition was about to approach me. If i wanted to have a family of my own one day, i needed to go back to school and get a “real” job. i was pressuring myself with standards i was holding myself to. Lord, but how can i honor You best? i won’t be satisfied in anything less. Please show me the way.

Rest, my daughter. Walk with me. Work with me. Watch how I do it.

i needed to abide.

February 7^th 2016

i came home from church this day completely overwhelmed with His goodness. i was grasping my unique gifting. i really felt the Lord speaking to me through the sermon and i was NOT ready for it to end. i wanted more. Pastor Jon encouraged us to seek prayer in the wings if God was still stirring in us. And so, that’s where i went. i felt like i was gliding, no joke. This was not in of myself to go seek prayer. God and me got this thing. we cool.

Anyway, i saw a familiar face standing in the wings but i was drawn to the first woman in my path. She was radiant. i’ve seen this woman before.

She embraced me and asked how she could pray for me. Suddenly my feet touched the ground. i was confused by her question…i was just excited and wanted to hear more from God why was i here?...but i could only utter a conjumbled sentence…if that’s what it could even be called. “i just really feel the Lord stirring and i need direction and yeah?” (Something a long those lines)

She had my arms in her hands with the biggest smile over her and she summoned Betty to help in this intercession. Long story short, my spirit wept as they were prophesying over me. The sermon beforehand was specifically on the spiritual gift of prophesy. They were each hearing from God, receiving that word and praying it over me. When they were both done, i hugged them. The only thing i could say was “thank you” and “where are the box of tissues?” i left the main building wide-eyed and speechless, and gliding back to my car. i wanted to dwell in His presence forever.

Why did that woman look so familiar?

God reminded me of a moment in TJ Maxx when i was shopping (“the TJ Maxx Moment” is what i refer to instances such as this) i remember waiting in line and a woman who was checking out in front of me glowed. i now know it was because she was carrying the presence of God with her. i didn’t look at her and envy her or become jealous. She was just captivating because she carried God confidence. (please don’t distort what i’m saying with perverse thinking). All women display God’s beauty. (When i read “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldridge, i gained insight to that truth. It’s a fantastic read!)

The woman who embraced me in the wings was the very same woman who i previously saw in the checkout line at TJ Maxx. God told me to hold on to that moment for a later reason. Awesome.

Not only that…

but, i was wearing my “Hope” key necklace that Megan gave me when this woman prayed over me. Later, i found out that she was not just some random customer at a department store, but wife to the worship leader, Aaron Keyes. Her name Megan Keyes. So neat.

Megan Haynes prayed over the keys before she bought them. The word couldn’t have been more perfect.

March 8th 2016
i was suppose to meet with the ladies this Tuesday, but all of us were in need of serious rest, so we decided to meet a day later in the week.
When we discussed this, i was cleaning at one of my client's homes. i was already planning on how i was going to use the time instead, and to use it wisely. Something reminded of the "sisterhood ring" blog post i wanted to start. And so, like that...my mind was set.
i finished business and came home. i was suddenly struck with a wave of exhaustion, so i sat down on the couch and turned on Netflix.
i rarely ever watch t.v. or turn on Netflix. However, when i do, i expect to get something profound out of it. (God speaks everywhere and through every thing if we just put the glasses on to hear/see *but it must always line up with Scripture*...we also have an enemy who wants to deceive us). Anyway, i waited for it to load.
i kid you not.....
The movie that was already loaded/preset to watch as a "suggestion" (i'm assuming) was "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"
Oh girl, i never hopped my toosh out of sitting so fast in all my life.
i ran to get my journal, and from then on i had ultimate confirmation from the Lord!!

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Before i go even more on a rabbit trail (which is completely justified since it’s Easter…) let Him drive the point home!

in sharing the details, i hope it reiterates that the details of your life matter to God. When following Him, they will all eventually line up too! Revelation can happen in a day, but it's over time that it beautifully unfolds. Remember that when you want to get ahead. “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34) God knows what’s its like to be us because He came as Jesus and walked earth fully God and fully man. He understands how we learn. That it takes time. And so, He is patient. “Okay, one day at a time; I am in no hurry, dear.” Even the disciples called Jesus "Messiah" before they came to an adequate understanding of what that designation really meant. Jesus continued to reveal Himself to the Samaritan woman. Like them, we can start to grow in our understanding of who He is.

…with this ring…, i discovered the most intimate relationship there is- that is with Jesus, the Lover of my soul. He became real to me as my Lord, Savior, and Healer in this life also…not just in heaven. i wasn’t experiencing God in my present. Jesus is the redeemer of our past, the *gift for our present* (pun intended), and the Hope for our future. It's why i praise Him using His name, Emmanuel (God with us) because He is. He is so real. And that is where my passion lies- to see a generation experience Jesus as Lord. To have a clear understanding of our identity {in Him}. To see the church revived!! To see His church come out of slumber. To see His bride so in love. To see an army so moved by His presence, so on fire for Him. That's my hope, because Hope came to me and said "you don't have to do it alone. Follow Me, and I'll show you the way." Through trials i soon saw what He was Healer of. My heart. My soul. And that trumps any tragedy/trial i face because i see there is joy to be found in those times. He always comes through and makes good what the enemy intended for evil, because our God is faithful. He is with you. Emmanuel. 

Jesus wants to become real so you can have a confidence to be real in. Come out from hiding behind the façade of who you think you should be, in order to be liked. Take off your masks.

Finally, we close with this picture:

In finding my truest identity,

God has stripped me so much that i have been brought back to my childhood so it’s there that He tells me who i am:

"You are a child of God, sweet daughter." (ref to John 1:12)

"Have child-like faith. Not naive, but innocent and simplistic belief in Me. Come back to who you were. There's unending joy to be found there. The place before the world suffocated you in labels of who you thought you had to be. Shake them all off! 

And so, i gathered the FOUR things I always played with as a child. All, but one, are pictured. (Yes, these were the kind of gifts I asked at Christmas. And although they were the upgraded versions that came in my age of double digits, the theme ran constant even prior.)

i played school, and performed concerts for my family. Bless their hearts. And i was the sister who made her brother and his friends play a part too. i drug them into my fairytale weddings and assigned them a role to participate. Bless their hearts.

Anyway, all humor aside, God told me to take a harder look at these items…

My flower-girl dresses i used for “dress-up” (not pictured):

- “The One who has the bride is the Bridegroom. The friend of the Bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the Bridegroom's voice. Therefore this Joy of mine is now complete.” (John 3:29)

-we are created for relationship with Him.

-Jesus is the Bridegroom and we, His bride

-we are His church. 

Directors chair:

-Jesus is my Lord.

-Last (but not least), my other sister, Megan Sims has greatly impacted my walk with the Lord too (all of them have already become so significant to me in my journey which is what makes them so special!). Megan obeyed the Holy Spirit and read Scripture over me at a time that it would forever stick. It's the very essence of Lordship with Jesus. It's what it means to follow Him! She read Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. (i have a décor in my room with this specific verse above and to the side of this chair. It was a gift from two women very dear to me. *Thank you, Mel and Rach ;) and thank You, Jesus. Never would i have put the two and two together.

Projector (my teaching tool):

-“And Jesus came and said to them, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.’” (Matthew 28:18-20)

-Be transparent. Be real.

Karaoke:

-i love singing and worshipping Jesus through music (even though it’s definitely not my gift nor talent….but, it is pleasing to God!)
"Sing, O daughter of Zion! Shout, O Israel! Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem!" (Zephaniah 3:14)

-Worship music led me to my knees and into my Maker’s Arms.

-Worship has now expanded to all areas of my life extending beyond the four walls of a church building, beyond the 30 or so minutes before/after service. Worship is where Jesus is.

“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!” (Psalm 150:6)
-And He sings over you and me!
"The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

My prayer is that you would let Jesus expose you. "He told me all that i ever did" (john 4:39). i pray that you would believe "not because of what [i] have said," but that you would have your own personal encounter with Jesus (John 4:42)
..."but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name." (John 20:31)

my story is just a micro-testament in HIStory and i am excited to watch it become smaller as my sisters receive this ring and share their story too. We all have a testimony and i believe He will use this rinky dinky ring in a powerful way!! May it travel to the ends of the world, bringing Hope in all of your hearts. May it be used to revive His church! May it be used to captivate His bride. May Emmanuel become so very real to you by the power of the Holy Spirit. May He give you your identity back! God bless and keep you always! In Jesus' name i pray. Amen.

and if you leave with one thing today, beloved. i hope you answer the knock at the door.

….& i hope you dance.

with much love,
xo

(i also wanted to thank every sister and every brother who has contributed to my walk with the Lord. The names are innumerable. If you were not personally mentioned in this post, your significance is not any less. While wearing this cross ring i have had countless conversations with you all who have planted seeds just by being true in who you are in Christ. my prayer is that the fruit will flourish on in to your journey too! To my "constants" and to any one who has impacted my life- date back to kindergarten...who knows, maybe even before then: God knows how much of a role you have played in being His Hands and Feet. He knows the essential role you had in carrying me into His arms and i pray one day you will too! You "truth-tellers" have not gone unnoticed to the One who sees and hears it all! Be encouraged!)

References

1. https://youtu.be/okmxFDMYuEQ

2. https://youtu.be/j26-N0BZEjw