Just Write it Out, Baby

“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.” -Graham Greene, Ways Of Escape

Ever want to just shut the world off?

As bad as that sounds it’s what I feel like doing. But let me give reason as to why that is an unhealthy solution to whatever is troubling your heart and/or mind.

I’ve given it a trial run... the whole “I’m going to avoid every thing and every body” – “Just let me do ME for Pete’s sake.” Not much at all benefited from it. The only positive gainer was focusing on and prioritizing my relationship with God. Fact is, I’m a sinner; we are all sinners. (See Romans 3:23-24) and sometimes I fall off the track. Whether it is putting my energy in worldly things, people, and places- instead of God first- it’s when we fall short of eternal happiness and joy. “Things” are just that… they come and go, grow old and loose importance and value. But our God endures forever!

Sure, a nice run alone can clear your mind. Quiet time is good and essential. However, with everything there should be balance and moderation. Yeah, well…I didn’t quite follow that “rule of thumb.” I’m an introvert; there is no doubt about it. It’s just how I am built. Now that doesn’t go without saying I do love people, and I do love being social, absolutely, I just find peace/solace in being alone- I can reboot by myself. I don’t need the help from others… that just tends to have the opposite effect—it drains me. I don’t mean any offense by that, it’s just the truth.

But when I’m hurting I can tend to shut people off, and this time it’s a funk that I can’t shake so quickly. The cause doesn’t matter; it’s irrelevant. But it did bring up and surfaced every insecurity deep inside me… like BAM- In. My. Face. … Sometimes you feel so strong and then the going may get rough. I’ve come to realize the areas that I thought I have conquered, I’ve still got some growing to do there. –Okay, so about shutting people off. Don’t do it. If you’re anything like me… analytical you are. HARDCORE mind-racer! So the more I keep to myself, the more alone I am with my thoughts. Bad, bad idea, very very bad. Working out helped kick it for the time being… always does. But unfortunately you can’t keep the pump going all day, er sec. So not too long after that, thoughts resurfaced, so I decided to take a pool date…by myself…vitamin D, water, and music. Nope didn’t shake it. I just layed and contemplated. Not long after though, my wonderful mother walked herself down and layed out with me! All she did was ask, asked “what was up with me,” and I just spilled it out. I was word vomiting and it was invigorating…I was laying flat on my stomach while talking to her and moved to sit up on my back to sitting on my butt to sitting on my butt facing her...looking back I see, yes…it LITTERALY lifted a weight off… whatever, you can make fun. But I hope you can visualize how holding onto your troubles may keep you bogged down and heavy. You are too special to let this world keep you sad!

Last night I decided to use that energy towards something good, so I wrote down personal goals I want to achieve. Fitness goals, financial goals, life goals… D. All the above. CrossFit is something I have been meaning to try forever and finally, I did it! As nervous as I was, I’m so glad I went! It may be a love affair, but I am definitely working it into my budget. Where there’s a will, there’s a way…right!? I will get my daggum pull-up, yes I will! I want to actually feel strong inside, and for me that is to reach this goal of mine.

I also feel like I need to redirect my priorities. So, I’m cutting social media. It’s obviously an issue, and I need to eliminate it from my life, at least refrain from it for a whole week. Poof, be gone.

All this girl wants is REAL... as tangible as something can get, I want the real thing.

I love prayer and love praying for people. So anything!! Just call me, text me, leave me a comment, whatever/whichever! I believe that is important for us as people to be there for other people, and praying can be intimate, or done afar for that person. God gave us people to fellowship with…what a great gift! He just wants us to turn to him always! It is in HIM and HIS word that we find truth and the answer!

With much love,

Me.

Stop Comparing and Keep Loving

What brings me to my funk?

Hm, well… I’m an analytical person so of course I’m going to decipher it and dig deep to the ROOT of the issue.

Let me begin with an analogy. I was talking to one of my clients the other week and we were discussing chiropractors; she had shared the experience she had with two completely different doctors both of which she sought to treat her bad knee at the time. The first one she saw was great- fixed her up and she was better the next day. However, as time went by the pain arose in her knee again. She decided to see someone else and this particular chiropractor spent a great amount of time trying to figure the actual cause of the pain in her knee. Come to find out it had something to do with her liver. Who would have thunk it!? So what am I trying to get at here? Well… the first doctor only seemed to “bandage” her pain. That is a temporary fix. The second doctor, on the other hand, spent time digging to the root of her problem in which of hopes to cure her pain for good.

In life, it’s easy to let our emotions get the best of us. We want to fix ourselves on our own, because we think we’ve got it covered. However, that’s when we should humble ourselves and give our problems to God because He ultimately knows what is in our best interest.

---“God through his Holy Spirit, now lives in you. He has set up residence. You are his temple, the place he stays, and your life is now a living sacrifice. Your life is no longer your own but has been given to him, and that is why your life needs to be focused not on yourself but on the God you live for”--- (from today’s devotional: Devotions for the God Girl, by Hayley DiMarco)

I better not make a list out of the things which bring me down but I will name the ultimate cause of my “funk”… and it’s simply that! (being in a funk) As much as I would love to be happy ALL THE TIME, it’s just not humanly possible. I feel I must be honest and real here. So, what gets me the most is when I let insecurity affect me because number one: I’m such an advocate for self-love, so when I’m tested and I feel I fail and fail knowing God’s truth, then I become that much harder on myself. & number 2: I thought I would never be faced with comparing myself with others ever again. HAAA! Boy was I wrong. It is basically my single, most absolute worst struggle. I will be delivered from this… I can’t go through life playing it safe…however, I’ve got to know that no one can still my joy unless I let them. The control is in my hands because I choose how I’m going to let what someone does or says affect me. Just their being and looks alone can stir up these emotions-how petty right?

Comparison can wreak havoc. Just learn to recognize it. STOP doing it, and press repeat, baby because just with anything else, it’s going to take more than just time. Practice and repetition is when you’ll start to notice inward change. Outward change is easy, but until you believe it and live it, you’ve still got some healing to do.

--I’m preaching to myself here so yes, I struggle with positive affirmation, and feeling beautiful. This is honest me. “it’s a journey” …remember?? day by day.

• “Comparing results from carnal mindedness and spiritual immaturity.”
• “Comparing ourselves negatively with others leads to contentment, discouragement and jealously.”
• “The best antidote for comparing is thankfulness for what we are and all that we have and trusting in the Lord's love and fairness.”

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” –Psalm 139:13-14

Much love.

So What Is This "Lifting" Thing You Do? *Sharing is Caring*

I’ve had some of you ask me what it is I do exactly when it comes to working out. So here you go… The oh so BIG “secret” revealed (drum roll…)

This could get real technical, but I’m just going to put it in simple terms because fact is, there is no secret and it doesn’t need to be all elaborate and whatnot.

For me, weight training was (AND STILL IS) a learning process. My mom use to teach aerobics like a madwoman and she went to school for some time to personal train, so she was initially my ultimate resource and “teacher” when it came to working out. That is where it all started…Yes, I was that kid who was dragged to the gym nursery who eventually became Mama’s “mini me” at about age 13. I took her classes and really enjoyed the whole working out thing. But my love and passion for fitness has just developed within this past year or so.

Gosh, I honestly couldn’t tell you when it was exactly that I transitioned from strictly cardio to doing at least some sort of strength training. However, at first I was intimidated by the free weights and the bars… I stuck with the machines. NO WAY was I going to make a fool… silly me! I wish I had picked ‘em up sooner!!

So from personal experience I can say weight training at first:

1. Was scary… (I’m a girl.. and there are a lot of guys around screeeech)

2. Uncomfortable (I didn’t feel secure with my body and I didn’t want people staring at me, and I definitely didn’t want all of those mirrors pointing out my flaws)

3. Had me CLUELESS (walking around like a lost puppy/meatheads staring at me because I’m on the machine backwards/my form was bad…hah, whatever the case… I felt awkward)

My point is, you have to start somewhere. With anything new, it might seem impossible at first, it just takes time.

When I became more interested in weight training, I researched a whole bunch. There is so much information out there and I still find the internet quite helpful. Just be sure it comes from a credible source... BodyBuilding has great info! What I find so awesome about this hobby/sport is that I am always always always learning something new. Sometimes I do not retain all the information, so I may hear the same thing again later and it’s just as new as the first time. Another aspect I love is that you have so much freedom… you control how you want to look. There’s a lot of playing around with your macro intake and the way you train (the weight amount, sets, reps, intervals…etc.) But that’s the technical part I’m not really going to get into.

With me, I learn best “hands on”… I can read and watch something all the live long day, but I have to get a feel of it first. However, that doesn’t go without saying someone who is more knowledgeable in that area can’t help and guide you. I’ve just recently grasped this concept… the whole “help and advice thing.” I can be quite stubborn and independent; but I’m learning to not take offense to someone showing me correct form or lending me their advice/input. As long as they come across in a sincere and “genuinely want to help you and not being cocky” kind of way… TAKE IT!!!

So, without further ado- (this really has become quite elaborate)- here’s what my “lifting life” consists of.

And please if you are reading this and want to correct me… FEEL FREE. I am no expert by any means… this just happens to work for me and my current goals.

First off, I want to gain muscle, to physically become stronger. I want to be able to do a daggum pull up (unassisted).

I received help about a month ago. I was basically overtraining (would spend about 2 hours each time I went into the gym) I’d lift and then run all my muscle away with cardio) I was maintaining, essentially, but my hard work was being put to shame…I wasn’t getting stronger by any means. However, I kind of knew it, but my mind just wasn’t right. This was me: “Say what? You mean only THR33 different exercises and I’m done!...psh *hand up* That can’t be effective.”

But I gave it a try and he was willing to spot and push me. And boy, was I proved wrong! It has forever changed the way I train.

Key points:

• You only need to perform 3-4 exercises per muscle (anything beyond and you may be overtraining)…your sets and reps play a role in that too.
• If the weight isn’t challenging, you’re not going to build. Period, the end. You must create stress on the body for it to change/grow.
• When you feel like you can’t do anymore, pump out five more reps! (HOWEVER, correct form and training in the full range of motion is so crucial and I cannot stress that enough!!)
• Rest!! Do not work the same muscle the day after… two/three days after may even be too soon. Why? You don’t build muscle at the gym, technically speaking, instead you are breaking it down, you rebuild inbetween (when resting).
• Pre and Post Workout nutrition is very important… fuel your workouts, and feed the muscles with the correct ratio of carbs to protein. 2:1 works for me. Some say simple carbs are the best…Anyway, its crucial. Just read up! I’m always playing around with this. But I almost always drink a whey protein shake and my carb may be rice cakes, banana, dried fruit, sweet potato... something like that.
• Incorporate warm ups and stretching to prevent injury… this is where I stress form again!! It’s important people! Don’t wait to have someone approach you…just ask! Usually people are more than willing to help. Just know the difference between “available help” and the dude/dudette with the headphones in (they mean serious business and are on a mission) àThis isn’t me at all…..Hey, I’m starting to “let my hair down”
• And ALWAYS remember it’s a process… for me… never ending, God willing! I love it too much.

So that is really it (that’s a lie, I could go on and on) But I just wanted to get the basics out there. I feel like I’m still missing a whole bunch…

--I believe my numbers are irrelevant and will not do anyone any good. Our bodies are different. However, when I get a little “proud” or egoistic… I might throw out a max number!

I love questions, so ask away. I may not know the answer to it, but you bet I’ll find it… that is how I learn too!

FAITH ...Cont'd.

Although I could go into a great amount of detail, it would not even pertain to the purpose of my story. SO this might be short and sweet, but that doesn’t diminish or lessen the impact it has made it my life.

Blake and I left the restaurant. It was so strange because I heard ambulances as we were leaving. (We were in Snellville, mind you –about 10 minutes from Grayson). Whether it was from the same accident or not, it dramatized it and added a fear before I even knew anything…

--We were on our way to only look for my brother- he had gone walking- only to pull up to a scene of police, ambulances… my heart sank. I just knew. “Cody had been hit” & the words just came out of my mouth. Blake’s face was unexplainable… he was looking at me with such worry, but something kicked in because he was so level headed at the same time. He was being strong for me and pulled off the road into a parking lot and prayed. I was even praying that it not be him. I didn’t want to believe what my mind was telling me. My body was so numb, it’s a feeling I cannot even explain.

My aunt called me, Dad called me and they had confirmed the ugly truth. Although so very shaken, we immediately prayed. Prayed for him to be alive. On our way to the hospital we were still praying. As scared as I was, I never actually believed he could be gone. Although I don’t think anyone really does at first. There is a stage of denial… but this was still something different. There was a peace underneath all my emotions and fear. (Or above it all). I still had that ‘ick’ feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it was trumped by HIS love + truth = peace.

We only knew that he had been hit… come to find out by a box truck, driving in a 45 mph speed limit zone. I had that Faith that he would be okay, even though there was that other BIG chance that he would not be.

We got to the hospital, I can’t even tell you how that night went exactly… but it was a long course of waiting. First we were set in this room…while Cody was in the ER- we were given no news for awhile.. So during this period your mind can do a lot of racing. Thankfully, we had a lot of loved ones come by to occupy our anxiousness. I don’t even remember all the people. I do remember the police and their questions… I just wanted to know he WAS okay. Time passed and then Dr. Avery came in. He was in fact alive. That’s all the news I remember. HES ALIVE, HES ALIVE!! He was being set up in ICU. We waited again for hours before we could see him. Pastor Steve prayed before we were able to go in. God’s peace was still with me, but reality was starting to sink in. Seeing him hooked up on all kinds of machines with tubes and wires every which way… But he was still so handsome. So peaceful looking. Still my brother. It is such a miracle and I’m so very thankful and blessed to have him.

-The week in ICU was hard. Cody was in an induced coma for about 6 days. During those days, there were minor set backs, but I still believed he would have a full recovery. There were surgeries post ICU, and he was moved to another floor for about a week, then to Children Healthcare of ATL for awhile… There were hard times following, it was a process, but he is here with me Today, and I am so blessed, and I still sometimes need that lil’ reminder to not take things, such as our family for granted.

I’ve definitely learned a great amount from this experience. Cody’s story may be different from mine, but regardless, it had definitely changed and shaped me as well.

Forsaking All I Trust Him. FAITH.

I know, I know, WHERE HAVE I BEEN!?

Believe me, I wish I could fully commit to a post per day...or per week, heck at least per month. There is no excuse, except that I just haven’t made the time. {Oops!}

Days off call for great mornings! (I can fully enjoy waking up which consists of sipping my coffee, cooking a longer meal, and spending much more time in God’s word.) So this morning was in fact one of those mornings. Before diving into my daily devo. I briefly thought: “Maybe I should devote some time to my blog as well…” Well the devotional was based on 2 Chronicles 7:14  à (“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, pray, search for me, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear their prayer from heaven, forgive their sins, and heal their country.”) Our sins can be as simple as being self-absorbed, which is exactly opposite of humility. How can we let God operate in our lives if WE think we know best for ourselves? Yes, you may know you, but no one knows you better than God. I’ve been struggling lately with the issue of purpose and what I am supposed to make of myself in this world. First and foremost, I have to realize God does have a plan for me, for us, and no matter what our eyes and minds make of it… IT IS BIG! We just have to let him show us. That means choosing his ways instead of our own. We never have to “give up” things in the negative way that phrase is used, but we are actually letting go in order to gain so much. Easier said then done, but when we TRUST God, we define this: An Act of FAITH.

There is so much meaning to this word (Faith) I feel that I could write a novel on it… but God’s already done that, it’s called the Bible -and it’s written throughout His word.-

In the very beginning -Genesis 22- God tests Abraham. Now it was hard at first for me to comprehend this. I was like, “God, I know you are not cruel, but really… you want Abraham to sacrifice his own son!?” *Note*: Sarah, Abraham’s wife, was not able to conceive for some time. God promised her a son though, and he kept it. He gave them Issac in their old age.

I did not want to question God’s unconditional love, so I prayed that he would show me in his perspective. He did and a couple mornings later, it clicked! I feel like v.5 shows us 1^st words of faith. Abraham tells his servants to stay while he and Issac go (“…WE will worship and then WE will come back to you.”) Did you catch that?? Abraham implies WE = both Abraham and Issac. It’s as if he knows that he will not have to sacrifice his son. And so they go… Issac is confused “the fire and wood are here, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” (v.7)

2^nd words of faith: Abraham tells Issac (v.8) “God himself WILL PROVIDE the lamb for the burnt offering.”

Abraham has no hesitation and is still very much trusting God…I mean he is at the altar arranging wood, and laying his son on it for crying out loud! WOW.

But God spares the gruesome details that could have come out of that because yeap, that’s right…He stops Abraham. Abraham looks up and there, the Lord provided, a ram caught by its horns for him to sacrifice as a burnt offering instead of his own son. (~v.10-13)

How Awesome, Right!?

There has been much more meaning added to this word Faith. ..A much more personal connection to the word… After all, experiences are what shape us and help us learn and grow. I almost feel ashamed to admit it because when everything is all cherry and well, where is our faith? Faith doesn’t have to come into play in the lowest of lows. We, at least I, forget to thank him for all the good he has done, is doing, and will do. But it wasn’t until my brother’s accident in Aug. 2012, I really had to put all my trust in God.

Coming close to losing your own brother is something you will never forget…

I can remember sitting in Moes with my boyfriend Blake… we were arguing about something stupid. (!gasp! …arguing.. yes.. lol, not BAD but it was stupid nonetheless. and a complete waste of our time to fill with pettiness instead of LOVE.. but that’s besides the point) …

Then we got a phone call and you just know when something is not good just by the sound of their voice.

TO BE CONTINUED...

My BIG “Ah-ha” Moment Unraveled (Journey of Overcoming Obstacles and Breaking Through Strongholds)

First of all, I have never been more excited to share my story. Just moments ago, while I was in the shower, (seems where I can be most REAL, honest and even creative.. symbolic in a way ay? nothing to cover up and hide under..EXPOSED) Anyways.. God broke it to me, but for MY benefit and for HIS glory. I don’t know what actually brought up the thought, but I was thinking how we are our own worst critics. ----

We know it’s wrong to judge others, but have we ever thought that it’s just as bad to judge ourselves? Guilty? Say I. I!!!

Humans, especially women, fight self-esteem issues on a day-to-day basis and the devil wants nothing more than to destroy our minds of the truth! You’re not pretty enough, No one likes you, Don’t eat that you’ll get fat, You’re not like them, You don’t fit in, You have this this this and this health problem..and the evil list of hate goes on.

I’ve constantly battled believing the lies from the enemy (he knows our strongholds very well) and the truth from our loving God. HE doesn’t want the perception we have of ourselves to be any different than HIS perception of us. We are each unique.

----About a week ago, I found old recorded videos at my Dad’s house that me, my brother, and our friends had made when we were younger. They were funny, so I’d laugh and what not. However, being the critical self I knew to be, I sat there in somewhat disgust. Ew listen to my voice. I look like a heifer. I look like a dike. I thought those things and even said them aloud for everyone to hear. Sounds silly right? I mean I was just a kid… so you may be thinking, “WHO CARES??” I know, I know. But it comes from deep inside me.. I have built up a hate for myself over the years.----

It’s hard to remember what I was actually thinking when I was younger, but I do remember the shy, timid Kalynn I was and never really grew out of. I know that I never felt good enough. I strived to “act right and do right” (as my Dad’s mantra still rings in my ear) and be the best at what I did, but I still felt like someone was always better than me. Now I don’t blame or resent my parents for their parenting, because no one is perfect! With the couple of psychology classes I have taken, I can’t help but look back and dissect my childhood though. The past is one way of explaining the reasons for why we are the way we are today. So #1. I feel like the need to be perfect in many areas started young. Also, I don’t ever remember hearing or seeing my mother love her body in front of me. I don’t remember hearing her hate it either…  As I got older though, I heard it more and more… What she did not like about herself versus positive affirmations. I heard it from the women in my family too. They would talk about what was wrong with them and each one would feed off the negative comments and it became a cycle… a chain of hate for oneself. Point #2 I didn’t see or hear older women in my family love themselves and their bodies. They were my influences. Not in the most positive way, but being so young it was what I knew.

Again, no one is to blame here. I don’t shun or fault anyone. Because they too must’ve learned it somewhere. Somewhere we lost ourselves. We thought we were those lies presented to us. Whether it be from people, media, or in our minds… the devil can use whatever he knows best to skew how God perceives you. But God says no. STOP! YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.

----As I was showering, I thought back to a few days ago as it applies to how I criticized myself while watching the old videos. My aunt, who is beautiful inside and out, was showing us a video she made of my dad building us a fire pit. She made a comment about her voice in the video, just as I had done. It makes me cringe to hear people talk bad about themselves and quite honestly I get mad. Mad at our enemy and sad for the person. It just showed me how we can still be affected with the devils lies throughout many years of our lives. We finally have to know the difference between what the devil feeds us and what we know to be true. The truth is instilled in us, we just bury it, covering it up with negativity and again.. those stinkin’ lies.----

So as I got older, I became more and more critical of myself. I had a negative body image; I focused on the flaws instead of what I liked about myself. My sophomore year of high school is not a year I exactly love to remember or talk about. However, I try to embrace it the best that I can.. and that part gets easier each and every day.. because I cannot erase and re-do. Every experience no matter how minute, changes us. The point is to learn, grow, and evolve for the better. We become stronger because of it.

That year I developed an eating disorder. I was finding myself because apparently I didn’t know who I was.. It began when I chose to be a vegetarian.. for all the wrong reasons. I lost weight because I did not know how to properly compensate the nutrients I was losing. I was getting complements from people.. as if their opinion validated my lifestyle.. sadly, it did. I quickly became obsessive to the point of eating from a scary 500-600 calories per day. I continued to drop weight and became very very thin. My interests changed and I drew away from people. The best way to describe how I felt in one word would be numb and deep down inside I knew this was not who I was. It is truly a disease.. one that is seriously detrimental to ones health. I was pitiful mentally, physically, and emotionally. It is a disease because I was still very unhappy with my body. I honestly hated looking at myself in the mirror, but I didn’t want to change how I ate either, because I didn’t want to be fat.

I think there were a lot of prayers for me to be healthy.. My family was obviously concerned, but I was too stubborn to seek help from a doctor so I finally chose to simply eat more. Within the same year, I gained my weight back plus more. I gained weight, hooray! but how? eating crap, that’s how.. and a lot of it in a significantly short amount of time. This is known as binging. Also horrible for your health. So wow, I went from one extreme to the other.

I was always struggling to find a healthy balance afterwards. I thought eating a salad and running on the treadmill for a half hour was healthy. I’d limit myself with boring food and then when I gave in and allowed myself to eat something sweet, I gave up on my health all together. Okay, listen up..Hear ye hear ye.. a diet refers to the foods one consumes. The word diet over the years has developed a negative connotation. When people use the word diet as it’s something they are going on, it irks me. It’s the whole “let me gorge myself today, and I’ll just start my diet tomorrow.” It never works. I understand, I get it.. I was once there. I would teeter-totter with my diet all the time, eventually ending up where I started. No good, no good at all.. and when you diet its an automatic set up for failure. I have recently.. within this past year developed a healthy lifestyle. It has been a journey to get here, but I am so so happy!! It takes a lifestyle change, not a diet. I love the food I eat and have finally developed a healthy relationship with food. So clean eating and getting creative with it, is a passion of mine. It is so tasty, I don’t miss those fast food places. Yuck, sorry I'm not sorry. Also, I work out.. like a mad woMAN. Another passion of mine. I lift, I take aerobic classes here and there, I lift, I cardio, I lift.. you get the picture.. I weight train like no body’s business. “I hate that good feeling after a successful workout,” said no one ever. That good feeling is the release of endorphins. Yeah, I’ll blame it on them. I’m an adrenaline junkie.. to a degree. But it’s important to know when you are doing too much. When you are tired, rest! You’re body will thank you later. You need to rest regardless, to prevent injury, exhaustion, and rest allows for you’re muscles to grow! I went through a period of time where I was working out way too much, and I was starting to feel depressed. So there’s moderation for everything! Just educate yourself!

People may judge me for the way I live, but because I’m so gosh dern happy with myself, their opinion doesn’t matter. Don’t let what people say or think determine you’re choices. Because I’m not eating McDonalds with you or that piece of cake doesn’t mean I have given up things. That’s a negative way to look at it. I have gained a healthy lifestyle. And going back to the diet thing.. Yeah I don’t always eat perfect, I like chocolate and wine, Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities… you get it. But when you’re on a diet and you slip up, you usually feel very guilty. So you may deprive yourself.. skip a meal here and there. I don’t do this anymore. Never ever skip meals!!  It took me a while to get it. I’m no expert by any means and it doesn’t take one. We all know how to eat healthy, and that exercise is good for us. We just have to apply it and make it a lifestyle we choose to live.

----I'm no longer bound!!!! GOD said you will break this curse! And I have never “felt” him smile so big (a term my mother uses, which describes this so perfectly) At 21 years old, I have never been happier. I feel like I finally know what I am doing with my life, but eager for anything God has for me. Speaking of, my relationship with God has become so much stronger. With my brother’s accident back in August 2012 (story I’m saving for another day), life has really been put into perspective. This brings me to my amazing boyfriend, Blake, who supports me in everything I do. He’s my high school sweetie and there’s never been a time when he hasn’t stuck by my side. We have been through a lot together within the past year and our relationship has never been stronger. I love you so much! Lastly, but certainly not least, my family. We have always been each others support system but have recently become so close. I come from a divorced family, but we have finally been able to interact in what should be awkward situations much more naturally and civilly. We’ve been through some stuff.. to simply put.. the thick and thin.. but we overcame it! All of which is because of GOD. Thanking him! What more perfect time to share this with you than the start of a new year? I haven’t really made a new year’s resolution.. because its not really necessary. Although I didn’t break one of 2012’s resolutions, which was abstain from using the tanning bed. Wooohooo! Nasty, costly, and not to mention bad for you’re skin. This year and for all the years to come I just plan to grow grow grow. learn learn learn. and become the best ME. I still have a lot to work on!!

Although I have been wanting to write (type) about this part of my life, it was today that I felt most compelled.. obviously. It took knowing God’s truth and what he says about me and taking that and actually believing it whole-heartedly!

RADICAL SELF-LOVE BABY…

                                    …It is never too late!

Much love.